Their story begins a mere three years ago, or eight, if you consider how long Shiyrah and Shadow spent trying locked door after locked door. When they finally found the one that opened, they discovered God’s fingerprints all over it. This month, the six of them formally become one, a Williams family on paper as well as in their hearts.
Four months after receiving their first placement, Noah and Kelsey Mathes felt as if their hearts were breaking. Phoning family to tell them that the little girl they’d cared for since she was eight months old would be returning home had seemed completely natural. After all, they’d called everybody when they learned she would be placed with the Abilene, Texas, couple. Those conversations, however, were celebratory; this one … not so much. Yet, Noah could still say to Kelsey, “I’ve never been so okay with being so sad.”
When asked, John just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. “No, we’ve never had any problems with it at all,” he says. “It’s been a big part of our lives, and we really have enjoyed it.” After 43 years of foster parenting, John and Debra Holt say they can’t recall one negative experience - although their response might have more to do with the Tulsa couple’s outlook on life than anything else. They have cared for more than 400 children over the years, and each new child who comes into their home still feels like the first. And each child receives the same care, attention, and unconditional love as the hundreds who came before. “We can’t imagine our life without it,” says John.
After fostering children for more than a decade, Kevin and Lori still don’t believe they’re anything special. They’ve simply done what they were supposed to do. It’s how they were raised. “It’s what we were brought up to do,” said Lori. “We give back, first to family, then to friends and the community. Always give back.” You could say their foster care journey started more than 15 years ago when they assumed legal guardianship of Lori’s 4-year-old niece, and 5-year-old nephew. They didn’t even think about it. As far as the Salina, Kansas, couple was concerned, the children were family and they needed help. So, they took in the two little ones and began raising them as their own. About four years into it, they began having conversations with Kevin’s cousin, a licensed foster parent. “He told us about all these kids who needed homes,” said Lori. “So, Kevin and I talked about it for several months and then decided to go ahead and get licensed ourselves.”
Kristi Fry knows firsthand what a good, safe home means to a child, especially to a child separated from her parents. Just 10 years old when her mother and father passed, Kristi was adopted by a family that took her in and raised her as their own. It made all the difference in her life. Her own loss opened an empathetic space in her heart for children like herself, alone and struggling to make sense of their experience.
The Shidelers have always known that if they want a family, they must adopt. So, early in their marriage they decided that they would adopt as many children as God provided, trusting that he would give them only as much as they could handle. Yet, Kristen proffered a stipulation: that her family fit in a vehicle no larger than a suburban or a minivan. “Andy’s from a large family, one of 10 siblings, so we’ve always been fine with having lots of children,” said Kristen. “But, growing up, his family had a 15-passenger van, and I wanted no part of that. That was our rule.”
José and Margarita started fostering about six years ago after looking around at their large empty nest and lamenting all the unused space they now had. Their two daughters had grown and left home, and it seemed a shame to let their rooms remain unused. A friend told them about foster parenting, so they decided to check it out.
The view through the Kishpaugh front window rolls clear to the horizon, over ochre Kansas hills lit by autumn sunshine. Chad’s eyes glisten as he recalls another “bright and sunny day,” when he and Amanda lost their son among these hills, in a collision with a truck and trailer at an unmarked rural intersection just a mile from home.
Travis and Marie Clem received their first foster care placement just days before Thanksgiving, and they doubt they’ve had a full night’s sleep since. But that’s just fine with the Shady Point, Oklahoma, couple because they believe the blessings they’ve received through foster parenting more than make up for a few lost ZZZs. For the Clems, fostering is both a family and a community effort, as well as a Biblical mandate.
Military families posted far from home often must rely on each other for support. This is especially true for those who serve children in need, along with serving their country. Nicole Berry knows this firsthand. She considers her Army friends and neighbors as much of a family as any connected genetically. The same goes for her spiritual family at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church.