We heard about Danny and Celia Blair from Executive Officer for Mission and Ministry Fr. Andrew O’Connor and Foundation Development Officer Shaynna Brown. As part of Saint Francis’ Nonprofit Appreciation Day activities, they delivered cookies to Wichita’s St. James Episcopal Church, where the Blairs are parishioners and Danny serves as junior warden. During their conversation, Fr. Andrew and Shaynna learned that Danny and Celia worked with Saint Francis Ministries about 10 years ago to adopt their grandson, Eoin (pronounced “Ian”). Now nearing their 70s, the couple shared their experience of raising a young boy in retirement.
“We were in our late 50s when our youngest daughter got pregnant,” said Celia. “She has mental health issues due to substance use, so we were concerned. Still, we said, ‘Okay, we’ll give her the best chance possible. One day, our other daughter, who was studying social work at Wichita State University at the time, called us up and asked if we could go to court that day. We were like, ‘Court? For what?’ Apparently, our daughter was getting Eoin taken away. We knew this day would come, but we were surprised by its suddenness. He was one week shy of turning six months old.”
Before that day, the Blairs’ daughter had brought the baby by the house about once a week, enabling the couple to bond with him. But after two years of failing to get her life in order, Eoin’s mother lost her parental rights, and the child became available for adoption.
“Saint Francis asked if we were willing to adopt him, and we looked at each other and said, ‘Well, yeah! He’s our blood, and we’re not letting him go anywhere,’ said Celia.”
The Blairs were 58 years old, and both had back issues. Yet they couldn’t imagine letting him go to an unfamiliar home while they wondered about him and how he was doing. They also wanted to spare their daughter the same thing.
“We got a call when they first took Eoin that evening,” said Danny. “He had gone to a foster home overnight, and we asked if he could come to us, and Saint Francis said, ‘Absolutely.’ So we agreed to do foster care and see how it goes. We knew all along that he’d never go back to his mother; she just wasn’t in the right head space.”
“I remember the doctor in the treatment plan shaking my hand and saying, ‘Congratulations, you’ve found a way to stay young,’” said Celia.
“We’re still waiting for that to kick in,” added Danny with a grin.
Indeed, their age is one of the couple’s primary challenges in raising Eoin. Let’s face it: it takes lots of energy to keep up with a 10-year-old boy, a problem exacerbated by the fact that few kids his age reside in their neighborhood.
“I’m 69 and not as energetic,” said Danny. “It’s harder when he wants to play baseball or do more active things. He loves Cub Scouts and looks forward to starting Boy Scouts next year. I can’t help wondering if I’ll be able to carry a backpack. There are multiple churches in the area, so we make lots of use of vacation Bible schools to give him exposure to other kids. He loves school and loves scouting and fishing. It would be easier if other kids were around, but we have to find ways around it.”
Celia says their role is more complicated than that of grandparents who have adopted their grandson. Unlike some grandparents who have the luxury of simply doting on their grandchildren, they must also be parents, providing the structure and discipline Eoin needs as he matures.
“And because he’s essentially an only child (the couple has three grown children) with no neighbors his age, we play three roles: grandparents, parents, and friend,” she said.
Still, they don’t regret their decision one bit. Danny says the experience has brought more vitality into their lives despite the challenges.
“We’re not sitting on the couch watching TV,” he said. “We’ve got stuff to do, and that’s probably good. My advice to others thinking of doing the same is not to believe it won’t be difficult. We love him so hard, and he loves us so hard, so the reward is there. You just need to put in the work, and it will be worth it.”
“I just think that one day, he’ll graduate from high school, and we’ll be so proud of him,” said Celia.
“And if we’re lucky,” quipped Danny with a grin, “he’ll get a medical degree specializing in geriatrics.”
